When it hurt so bad

I have a really big headache today... My co-workers decided to throw an end of the year Christmas celebration with lots of food and deserts. Unfortunately I give in to peer pressure pretty easily and decided against my good judgment to eat, or at least try all of the deserts. So now because of that I have a pounding headache from the ridiculously high sugar intake.

Whatever..this too shall pass.

Now, I have this question. That, well, I sort of have the answer to but can't seem admit to my self that I have already answered it. It's about trust and relationships. When are you ready to trust some one with everything, or in my case, trusting someone to simply be a good friend. More specifically friends of the opposite sex.

I've been single for almost 10 months now, that’s the first time I ever said that. Which if you know me is like 10 years. I’ve never been without a boyfriend or even without a potential boyfriend. I seem to have gotten use to managing my time between myself, school work and friends. I don't make time for anyone else and when someone else does come along I don't change anything around to accommodate them, rather, I try to Squeeze them into my already planned out schedule. Of coarse they never stick around, and of coarse I never care cause they were taking up too much time anyway..lol

But do you see where I am going with this. I've created this fortress around myself and I not only deny access to men I could careless if they stay or if the go. So when, I ask, are you ready to trust? Because I seriously doubt this can go on forever.

Signing off,

MemE

How Honest is too Honest?

I woke up this morning is a slight rage. I am not sure why but something came over me. Before I had rolled out of bed, or even opened both of my eyelids and said hello to a new day, I turned on my Iphone keyed in my passcode and began texting. The night before a gentleman just completely disrespected me, I won’t disclose how exactly, but all I know is this morning I wasn't having it. Needless to say, he never responded and I doubt we will be talking in the future. But I didn’t regret it, in fact as I sit here recounting the event it was slightly cathartic. I felt a weight being lifted from my shoulders as I told him what I will no longer tolerate from him. Its something I've been actively, well not so actively, working on. I realized that feelings will get hurt in the process but life is too short to allow people to treat you like they feel like treating you, rather then how you believe you ought to be treated.

I have so much to write but I guess the whole point of blogging is to just take it one step at time. I normally journal so I wonder how different this will be considering I haven't found the real purpose of blogging when you can simply write in a journal and be completely honest. We shall see where this takes us. I can't promise reading my blogs will be the most exciting but they will be entertaining nonetheless.

Well I guess this is it for now, I have my last final on Friday, which like my final this afternoon I have yet to study for. I have senioritis, I’ll be picking up my prescription soon :)

LOve ,
MemE